Had a lovely time with my twin classmates last night. To be exact, it’s the 1st dinner of the 4 – me, my girls and one boy whose feet I touched for the first time through Queenie’s stomach. She looks even pale than the last time I saw her, but this time the paleness shines with the glow of maternity – chemical slightly changes among us on the dinner table with the presence of the new boy.
I was afraid to see her the past few months- it’s not her I’m afraid of of course- it’s the fact that she’s having a baby growing inside her and making her weak- afraid to see her like that. The delicateness and stumble move grows with time passed by.
But she’s so brave, although I see a little bit of regret and afraid too on her face – mainly for the upcoming birth-giving- the physical unknowns she will need to face on the special day. She told me her friend used to work until 5pm the day she’s giving birth at 7… tough Chinese woman.
The touch of her stomach reminds me of my mum 20 years back. She’s also exposing all these in front of me and never pushed me for taking the motherhood journey. I watched how her body changes, and how annoying it is for her to keep away from the government chase (it was the time under the 1st child policy.) – in order to make rooms for my brother to live.
Human’s life would not exist if there’s no woman suffering for most of the process. At least for any children naturally-born, the strongest and most spiritual connections we have are with mums. Her voice is the first thing the babies would hear, and before he/she comes out to this world, mum and babies are basically one person. You eats, the babies absorb and would be able to grow; You’re nervous, he or she would be able to sense it and using his/her small feet and hands to touch you internally. These kind of relationships are not what fathers/man would naturally feel like- the subtleness and kinship only belongs to pregnant woman with her babies.
Therefore, fathers’ role are mainly societal- the connections can be easily torn apart if fathers in real life can’t show his consistent attention and love to the kids. Babies will treat fathers just like a close friend- but can never beyond that.
Nowadays technologies and the popularity of surrogacy alleviate woman’s pain but also remove their most intimate and innate relationships with the human she created. The rise of AGI also posted huge questions hanging above human’s head- “being human is really not that special if we can’t find each of ours’ own unique specialness”.
Having kids and raising kids going forward would be more like “an experience we choose” – kids will no longer being labelled with the goal to catch the pace of the development of intelligence because it never can. Each lives meaning is up to our own self to determine.
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